8 Steps to Finding You AgainJanet Miller MA LPCC
Is This All There Is? A start of finding purpose.
Remember when we were kids… and maybe, (okay for sure,) we believed that we could be anything that we wanted? Maybe we didn’t even have internet yet! We played outside on swing sets and some of us ran around in corn fields or forests playing some version of “cops and robbers”. We were developing the super-heroes inside of us. We were strong and we were capable. We could save the day. We did it all. We dreamed of riding in fire trucks and saving people. We set up dolls (or our siblings or neighbors) on chairs and taught very important classes. We had the answers! In fact, there was never a doubt in us. We were amazing and life was mostly incredible, at least when we were playing.
Fast forward years or maybe decades, and our world has changed. Childhood was only yesterday it seems, but now we aren’t kids anymore! HERE we are.
We are more aware of the mess in the world. We have responsibilities and bills, and now people need us. The idea of a super-hero – we-can-do-anything – SELF has left the playing field. We don’t even seem to have enough TIME to do what we “have to” let alone, what we’d like to.
I think sooner or later, most of us look around at our adult lives amidst the business and challenges and perhaps flat out disappointments, and think – “Is this all there is?”
“Is this all there is?
We thought there was going to be so much more.”
Somehow we’d would be happier and more fulfilled and definitely we would be walking in purpose like crazy!
When did we forget our purpose? We used to have it, when we thought we could do anything…
When I coached high jumpers, I used to tell them, “You don’t have to believe you are an amazing jumper right now. You just have to believe me, when I tell you (because I am your coach and I know jump secrets), you are an amazing jumper. You just believe that I am sure of it, until you know it too.” And they did.
So what if I told you… you have a purpose. You are amazing? Can you trust the idea, or this coach, until you start to see it yourself?
Let’s start with a few steps in the pursuit of finding you again…
- Make a list of at least five things that are great fun for you.
- Then make a note after each – when was the last time you did each one?
- Do one thing from your list in #1, at least every other day or once a week depending what it is!
- Ask yourself – What is saving your life right now? (Another way to say this is – What brings you comfort?) Make a list of at least 15 things. (Yep, you might have to dig around awhile because most of us don’t even know five things, nor do we make much time to do them.) Do at least one a day!
- Go find your playlist or better yet – new songs and listen. Pick one song that really hits your deep places and leaves you with some hope. Play it often in your day.
- Find one or two quotes that pull you up and give you hope. Write them on post it notes, put them where you see them multiple times a day. (Places like – the dash of your car, your bathroom mirror, on your home screens…) Say them out loud to yourself multiple times a day. Memorize them.
- Find at least one person you are happy to see and smile in their eyes at least once per day!
- Who is your mentor/coach? Find one. (At least begin the process of finding one!)
“What?” You might ask me. “These things are not about my purpose!”
And I will gently say back to you…The idea is to learn to have so much fun, amidst the busy and the stress, that as you discover joy and take care of you, unknowingly, you will remind yourself why you are here. And who knows, maybe that super-hero will begin to find their way back too.